Friday, October 4, 2013


I'm posting every day in October for The Nester's #31Days link-up. Click here to see all of my posts in this series.

Why hurry over beautiful things?  Why not linger and enjoy them?

-Clara Schumann

I remember when I was a kid and my mom would come to pick Josh and me up from Chris and Desiree's house after we'd stayed the night.  Mom would round us up and say, "Come on, it's time to go. Put away whatever you're playing with and say goodbye."

So we would begrudgingly part with our best friends (how cute is that? two brother-sister best friend duos!) and make our way to the front door, where we inevitably found Mom and Barbara chatting away, obviously at least ten minutes away from ending their conversation.  We'd stand there with our pillows or whatever we had brought with us, tapping our feet and wondering why we couldn't just keep playing until Mom was actually ready to leave.

It's some kind of rule about motherhood, isn't it?  There's an unwritten policy that says you are required to linger in the doorway with the other mom(s) while your kids fidget and complain about the fact that they could have kept playing for ten more minutes!

But even when Josh and I would make that very argument -- "Mom, can't we just play some more while you guys talk?" -- and our mom did let us go back to play with our friends, here's what happened: our parents would wrap up their chat, Mom would holler at us to come back out because we were "really" leaving now, and then we'd return only to find that the momversation was back in full swing!

I remember being super annoyed about this as a kid.  But now that I'm an adult, I get it.  Grown-ups are busy people, and we always have places to be and things to do.  So when we find ourselves with the fleeting opportunity to linger in a doorway for just a few more minutes with a friend, we savor it!  Even without kids, that cycle occurs where you say goodbye and then spark another topic of conversation and forget that you were about to leave a second ago. 

Every once in awhile, a mom would come to pick up her kids from our house, and she was always on a mission.  She'd knock on the door, say, "Hi, thanksforhavingthekidsover," summon her children, and they were out the door before my mom could say, "How are you today?"

I don't want to be that friend.  I don't want to be so busy that I can't spare a few minutes to catch up and connect.  Don't get me wrong; I know sometimes you can't avoid being in a rush and needing to get to the next place ASAP.  But I don't want to be characterized as a habitual hurrier

I want to be the friend who can linger.

(But not the friend who lingers to the point of awkwardness.  That's a whole other topic!)


  1. Haha-- try Asian parents. They can linger for *hours*. It always annoyed me, as well, especially when I was hungry/tired and actually WANTED to get going!

    Also-- when I saw the title, the Cranberries song immediately popped into my head. Thanks :-P

    1. Love that song! I totally hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it. :)

  2. Fun to think about the olden days when you and Josh were so little.

    It's so hard to find that proper balance in lingering!

  3. Beautiful post, Tabs :) I love it!


Thanks for your comment! I try to reply to all comments within the post itself so we can keep the conversation going.